Pistol Packin' Mama was number one on the country charts.
Then Judas, his betrayer, seeing that Jesus had been condemned,deeply regretted what he had done.He returned the thirty pieces of silverto the chief priests and elders, saying,"I have sinned in betraying innocent blood."They said,"What is that to us?Look to it yourself."Flinging the money into the temple,he departed and went off and hanged himself.
(Name) and (name), have you come here to enter into Marriage without coercion, freely and wholeheartedly?""Are you prepared, as you follow the path of Marriage, to love and honor each other for as long as you both shall live?""Are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and to bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?"
Priest (or deacon): Since it is your intention to enter into the covenant of Holy Matrimony, join your right hands, and declare your consent before God and his Church.Groom: I, (name), take you, (name), to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.Bride: I, (name), take you, (name), to be my husband. I promise to be faithful to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love you and to honor you all the days of my life.
The element of sacrifice is so strong in marriage, that in Croatia, a Catholic country, an added element is present, in which the Priest states:
You have found your cross. And it is a cross to be loved, to be carried, a cross not to be thrown away, but to be cherished.
That's really heavy. That's not a fuzzy bunny, flowery rose, type of view of marriage at all. You're signing up for a real burden.
But one to be cherished.
And that's the thing that the West has lost.
We don't want to sacrifice at all.
If you look at life prior to the late 1960s, sacrifice was darned near universal. Everyone, nearly, married and divorce was rare. People sacrificed for their marriages. Most married couples had children, and having children entailed sacrifice. Reflecting the common values of the time well, the screenwriter of The Magnificent Seven summed it up in this fashion in a comparison of family men to hired gunfighters:
Village Boy 2 : We're ashamed to live here. Our fathers are cowards.
Bernardo O'Reilly : Don't you ever say that again about your fathers, because they are not cowards. You think I am brave because I carry a gun; well, your fathers are much braver because they carry responsibility, for you, your brothers, your sisters, and your mothers. And this responsibility is like a big rock that weighs a ton. It bends and it twists them until finally it buries them under the ground. And there's nobody says they have to do this. They do it because they love you, and because they want to. I have never had this kind of courage. Running a farm, working like a mule every day with no guarantee anything will ever come of it. This is bravery. That's why I never even started anything like that... that's why I never will.
The line, "And this responsibility is like a big rock that weighs a ton. It bends and it twists them until finally it buries them under the ground." was literally true for many. Indeed, it's been noted that up until some point after World War Two Finland, which routinely comes in as the happiest country on Earth, had a very early male death rate, simply because the men there worked hard, and basically worked themselves into the grave for their families.
People were not, of course, perfect, and therefore children naturally arrived on the scene with an unmarried origin. Depending upon the age of the couple, that often ended up in a marriage before the child was born, adding an added element of sacrifice in which the couple sacrificed, in essence, an element of freedom or even their future for what they'd brought about. When that didn't occur, the child was more often than not given up for adoption, which involves an element of sacrifice, but because it arises in a different context, we'll not get too deeply into that.
Things tended to be focused on that fashion. There were people who didn't follow this path, but they were a minority.
This has been portrayed, since the 1970s, as some sort of horrible oppression. But the surprising secret of it is that people seem to be hardwired for it, and when it's absent, they descend into, well, a descent.
None of which is to say that sacrifices aren't present in the modern world. They are, although by and large society tries enormously to avoid them.
It's tried the hardest in regard to the natural instincts of all kinds. People are able to avoid nature, and so they do, least they have to sacrifice. But that's a sacrifice in and of itself, but for what?
The self, is what we were told initially. But the self in this context turns out to be for the economy. In a fairly straight line, we're told that you should avoid commitments to anything requiring commitment, so that you can get a good career, make lots of money, and go to Ikea.
Very fulfilling?
Ummm. . .
No, not at all.
In The Great Divorce, which I haven't read but which Catholic Things summarized extensively, Lewis placed a self focused Anglican Bishop in the role of the self-centered intellect. Self Centered is the epitome of the current age. And that self-centered role placed the figure in Hell.
The other day, I had a thread discussing the youthful (16 years old) marriage of the then Norma Jean Baker to James Dougherty.1 It was this post, here:
The marriage didn't last.
We know the rest of the story, of course. Norma Jean would divorce Dougherty while he was serving overseas in the Navy so that she could sign a modeling contract. She changed her name to Marilyn Monroe, became a famous actress, married and divorced Joe DiMaggio and then Arthur Miller, and then died from a sleeping pill overdose in the early 1960s. Her life, really, was fairly tragic.2
She's still regarded, justifiably, as one of the greatest beauties of all time.
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Yikes.
The news story was apparently regarded as an odd human interest story, so it made it all the way to print in New Zealand, where it actually gave more details:
Yikes again.
FWIW, for most of Western society, including American society, marriages involving very young couples, let alone teenagers, were uncommon. Marriage ages change a lot less than people generally think, as we reported here:
But what a strange story.8
Obviously there was more to this story than the press reported, although there are hints at it. Fighting a duel for the affections of a twelve-year-old is exceedingly odd under any circumstances, however. Linkfield was shot in the duel, but apparently only Carpenter was locked up. Why? Dueling was illegal under any circumstances at the time. Did getting shot suffice for Linkfield's punishment, or was Carpenter regarded as the aggressor?
Also hinted at, Linkfield and the young object of his affection obviously met back up, as she was almost certainly a pregnant 13-year-old when they married, which is more than a little icky. As the young husband, married to a true child bride, apparently had no means of support for a family, they moved in to his parent's home.
It's hard to imagine this story developing this way today. Almost impossible, in fact. And that it was treated somewhat as a love story in the paper is a bit hard to fathom.
And in someways this takes us to what we might call "stealth divorces".
As we noted above, cohabitation was generally illegal, certainly in the 19th Century, and in some places in the early 20th Century. It was societally regarded as absolutely scandalous. That taint began to wane with the Sexual Revolution.
Now, we don't want to fall into the error of claiming that before 1968 everyone's behavior was absolutely correct. Having said that, studies in more recent years have shown that the groundbreaking sexual studies of the late 40s and early 50s were erroneous to a whopping degree. Indeed, well into the 1950s, most men and women had no sexual relations with anyone until they were married. This was the societal standard, and it was very largely adhered to. Not absolutely, but fairly well.l
The Second World War clearly made some inroads into that, and frankly the Great War had dented it as well, but after both wars the standards revived, even if they'd temporarily eroded during the war. They started to steadily erode starting in 1954 following the December 1953 release of Playboy magazine, and that definitely had a cultural impact that's apparent in films of the late 50s and early 60s. The 1960s, however, bust things wide open, which exploded all over the 1970s in the form of the Sexual Revolution.
It's a fairly short line from sex outside of marriage to cohabitation, but here again it didn't happen instantly. Even as late as the 1980s when I was in university, cohabitation was regarded as semi scandalous society wide. People really didn't know how to take it, and where it occurred it was pretty uniformly regarded as a temporary arrangement. Again, by way of personal recollections, one politically highly liberal friend of mine was scandalized by the conduct of a female roommate who, well, we will skip it, but this is in the mid 1980s. Of my college friends who married about that time, only one had "lived with" his girlfriend prior to their marriage, although their story presents an interesting one in terms of trends.
By the late 90s things were really changing in this regard, and you started to run into couples, for the first time, that seemingly cohabitated with no thought of getting married.
Having said that, some of this trend, like much in the way of widely reported social trends, may be exaggerated. Nonetheless, the trend is there, and in 2019 the Census Bureau found:
In 2018, 15 percent of young adults ages 25-34 live with an unmarried partner, up from 12 percent 10 years ago.
It further reported:
Fifty years ago, in 1968, living with an unmarried partner was rare. Only 0.1 percent of 18- to 24-year-olds and 0.2 percent of 25- to 34-year-olds lived with an unmarried partner, according to the Current Population Survey.
The measurement of cohabitation from 1968-1995 was less precise. The estimate came from an indirect measure of opposite-sex partners sharing living quarters, and the late 1960s through the early 1970s had particularly low reports of cohabitation.
Also, when comparing 2008 to 2018, years in which the Current Population Survey asked a direct cohabitation question, cohabitation only increased for 25- to 34-year-olds and slightly decreased for 18- to 24-year-olds.
So, although cohabitation has increased for young adults over the last 50 years, it is important to note the limitations in measurement and that certain periods of time did not produce increases in unmarried young adults living together.
In contrast to the rising rates of cohabitation, the proportion of young adults who are married has declined over time.
Today, 30 percent of young adults ages 18-34 are married, but 40 years ago, in 1978, 59 percent of young adults were married.
So, what the Census Bureau found was that, basically, cohabitation had jumped enormously for young adults in fifty years, but was decreasing for other sections of the population. Also of note 59% of young adults, if we run the "young" criteria up to age 34, which is a questionable way of doing it (at one time 34 was actually considered "middle age", and not all that long ago) were married. Now, 30% of the population in that age range is, although it's still the case overall that the majority of Americans live in married households.
That is quite the change, but I'd also note that it actually sort of, but only sort of, replicates a situation that had existed in the 19th Century when "common law" marriages came about. That legal creation was created by the courts to deal with the byproducts of just such unions and to handle the legal problems they created. And in looking at that, we an find a surprising number of notable common law marriages in the United States in the 19th Century, particularly in the wilder regions of the country.
Indeed, looking back even further, it's hard not to recall that it was not until well into the Middle Ages that marriages needed to be witnessed at all.
Some of the current cohabitation going on is basically in the nature of common law marriages, even if not recognized as such. This is particularly true of the ones that use the extremely irritating word "partner" to describe the putative spouse. Others are just examples of people playing house, and there's everything in between. We note it here, however, as these couples do split up, and often without any sort of intervention of the law at all, and therefore they create a sort of stealth divorce.
Some of how this works overall, as a social observer, is interesting. Some of these couples get around to marrying later, some never do, but with some it's almost impossible not to view them as common law marriages. It speaks in part, however, to the breakdown in standards in society, but this thread is already broad enough without going there.
So what is going on here?
It's actually pretty hard to say.
When I started this thread off, I had intended to look at the often claimed link between "marry in haste" marriages during World War Two leading to a breakdown in marriage itself, which isn't a theory that I came up. However, much like the popular theory that "World War Two caused women to enter into the work force forever" claim, it really doesn't have the facts to back it up. There was in fact a jump in divorce rates after the war, but it wasn't titanic, and overall societal divorce rates returned to what they had been just before the war and remained there into the late 1970s. And frankly, attitudes towards divorce, while they changed, didn't change all that much until the 80s.
So if the war played a role, it was indirect.
What does seem to have played a role, however, was the combined impact of increased wealth and a big focus on materialism, and we're still living with that, although it seems to be breaking down in recent years, with a boost in that from COVID 19.
For most of human history marriage played a variety of roles, but the big societal one was making sure that children were protected, and then widows were. This doesn't mean that marriage doesn't have an important religious aspect to it, particularly in Apostolic Christian churches. It does. But societies, and by this we mean all societies, regulated male/female interactions for the reasons noted above, as society didn't want the tribe, the village, the shire, or whatever, to be stuck with the burden of raising children or taking care of widows.
There was really no thought at all to doing so until the post-war era, for the most part. "Mistakes of nature", as children born out of wedlock were sometimes referred to, were a disaster, for the most part, for the economic well-being of the mothers, save for the instances when the fathers were well-to-do. Contrary to what progressives like to claim, however, the overwhelming majority of women took the children to term. Giving the children up for adoption was a very common option, particularly for teenage and early twenties mothers, who were often "sent away" for a time until the children could be delivered in hopes of trying to salvage some element of the girl's reputation. Quick marriages, or the proverbial "shotgun marriage", were also solutions, and there's some question of whether the Linkfield marriage described above may have been one of those.
Anyway you looked at it, abortion and living with heavy public support were not options. As readers here will note, I don't feel that abortion should be now. But its undeniable that public money to aid the mothers of unwed children, and the children, came about following the introduction of the Great Society. Indeed, the often heard claim of people for sympathy about a protagonist that "she's an unwed working mother" just would not have been made prior to that time, and probably not until the 1990s really.
What also came about was a change in sexual behavior due to the Sexual Revolution, with the Quartermaster of the Revolution being pharmaceutical birth control. We've dealt with that before here as well, but the overall mix of birth control combined with Playboy's separation of the concept that sex can result in children really hit in the 1960s, right at the time that a youth rebellion was underway. None of the results would have been possible without that combination, and added to it was the post World War Two massive increase in societal wealth.
The huge increase in societal wealth meant that it was possible for government to imagine, if erroneously, that it could address the desperate plight of unmarried mothers and their children, which came partially, but only partially, true, just at the same time that the Sexual Revolution broke down sexual mores.
And added to that was the change in people's views about what their own lives were for that accompanied the backside of the youth rebellion.
As we've noted here before, prior to the 1960s, and very much prior to World War Two, the United States may have been a capitalistic society, but it was also one which, for most people, was actually family oriented. When the authors of I'll Take My Stand assaulted the New Deal, they in part emphasized that, as it was so much the case. I.e., they expected a sympathetic audience to the argument that Rooseveltian capitalism/liberal government was super pro business and was destroying familial leisure. A person can take that for what it's worth, but in the 1970s that really became true. As late as the 1970s and 1980s, you'd still occasionally hear parents encouraging their children in post high school academic careers on the basis that "you'll get a good job, so you can support a family".
I haven't heard that argument made for decades now.
Now, people are urged to get a good job as it'll produce a high income and that means lots of stuff. And that's the real difference between then and now.
People now routinely leave friends and family for their careers, and in doing so abandon their spouses and "others". Since the 1970s, and very much since then, societal propaganda has been full of "fulfilling career" arguments, arguing, particularly to women, that their path to a meaningful life and a sense of self-worth is solely linked to their careers and completely internalized.
Of course, another concept that didn't exist is that people had to approach something really serious, sex, as entertainment and that they were doing something wrong if they weren't acting like alley cats in heat in at least a certain point in their life.
Prior to the 1970s people didn't really have that concept.
Because its not true.
And therein, more likely than not, lies the answer.
If its all about you, after all, leaving them, whomever they are, is not only easy, its the right thing to do.
Of course, it isn't. And there's some indication that the generations Post Generation Jones know that. As we noted the other day, they're Quiet Quitting and Laying Flat. And there's some indication that they're groping back to social conservatism as well
1. Well not really the other day, it's now quite some time ago, actually.
This is another post I started some time ago, and then ended up not finishing. This is unfortunate as, in part, I don't quite recall where I was headed with this, but given as it's an interesting societal topic, I’m going to blather on anyhow, in part because I sort of remember where my brilliant insights were going, and in part because this tied into something completely different that I started writing about, or sort of completely different.
2. During her marriage to Miller, Monroe was heavily addicted to prescription drugs, both to sleep and to wake up.
I'm really mystified by Monroe's marriage to Miller. Her marriage to Dougherty makes sense in the context of the times and her, frankly, desperation. So does her marriage to Joe DiMaggio.
But Miller?
Why?
Frankly, the divorce wasn't surprising either, and in a different context, or perhaps this context, this marriage likely could have been anulled. She was only 16 and in pretty desperate straights when they married.
3. The Mauldin story has a surprising end, however. Bill and Jean Mauldin never lost touch with each other, and towards the end of his life when he became incapacitated, she moved into his house and took care of him. In the end, therefore, she resumed the role of a wife in a really deep sense. The couple, in spite of their early rocky start, may have been truly well suited for each other after all.
4. Outside the US, most English-speaking countries had some variant of an 1857 English law.
5. Note, however, as a religious matter, the Church of England, like the Catholic Church, disallows divorce. Be that as it may, since the Second World War the churches of the Anglican Communion have very much diluted their adherence to this expressed belief.
6. We should note here that prior to the Russian Revolution Russia had, of course, a state church in the form of the Russian Orthodox Church, part of the churches that separated from the Catholic Church during the Great Schism. Eastern Orthodoxy, like Catholicism, is an Apostolic Church, and it holds largely the same set of beliefs, even though a reunion of the two major branches of Christianity has not occurred. One of the differences between the two branches, however, is that the Orthodox actually allow up to two divorces and three remarriages under some circumstances, although it's a little difficult to grasp what governs this for the non-Orthodox. It's basically regarded as a concession to human nature. The Church, that is the pre Schism Catholic Church of which the Orthodox were then part, very clearly did not allow for divorce early on and so this is a development in Orthodoxy which has occurred since the Schism.
7. So how did this all work out? Like the protagonists in Chuck Berry's Teenage Wedding?
Not hardly.
According to the Reddit follow up, Chester Linkfield was in and out of jail for the rest of his life, which wasn't all that long. He worked as a repairman and died of TB at age 32. At that young age, he'd literally been married to Ernestine for half of his short life.
She remarried less than a month after he died, which is peculiar. She would have known that his death was coming, of course, as TB was a slow but sure killer. Her new husband was Denzil Swan, who died in 1950, and who was listed as divorced at the time, although that doesn't mean that the devorce was from Ernestine, she may have predeceased him.
Their son, born in 1922, was named William Chester Linkfield. From what little I can tell of him, he served in the Second World War and moved to Pennsylvania at some point. As odd as it is to realize it, he would have been 16 years old when his father died, the same age his father had been when he married his mother.
8. Or was it?
To some extent, a person has to wonder if this was just an Appalachian story for the time.
Appalachia is a region of the country which has remained culturally distinct, and poor, for a very long time. In most poor cultures, poverty operates against early marriage. A good example of this would have been pre Celtic Tiger Ireland, where generally marriages occurred late due to circumstances, and indeed a fair number of men remained unmarried their entire lives.
As history certainly rhymes, if not repeats, part of what we see now in current late marriage trends may be due to something similar. The press likes to imagine that young college educated couples are busy pursing their super glamorous careers, 1970s/1980s career propaganda wise, but in fact many are stuck in jobs that pay relatively poorly and can not find a means of actually getting married economically. This same trend reflects itself in the current trend of multiple generations living in the same household, or older children returning home ot lvie with their parents, all of which are norms of the past.
At any rate, two teenagers dueling over the affection of a young girl isn't hugely surprising in a region where generational feuds had persisted into the late 19th Century. Her age remains surprising, and icky.
Consider, however, Alvin C. York, the great hero of World War One.
York was a wild youth who had been involved in violence prior to his profound conversion to Christianity. He was one of eleven children. His wife Gracie was 19 at the time of their marriage, almost immediately after his return from service, and they had obviously planned the marriage before he entered the Army. He'd entered the Army almost exactly two years prior to that. He was twelve years older than she was.
In other words, York, a Tennessean Appalachian, was from a huge rural family and his wife was relatively young in context, alhtough certainly not twelve, at the time of their marriage. . . but, wait. . . .
Honest compels me to admit here that my wife was 21 when we got married, and I was 31. We became engaged when she was 20.
9. This is one of the many areas in which the Church, by which we mean the Catholic Church, was an enormously liberalizing force, in spite of what modern day self-appointed pundits like to think. Up until Christianity giving away girls at a fairly young age was in fact common. The Church put a complete stop to it by simply providing that women couldn't be married to anyone they didn't consent to be married to, a radical, and frankly very protofeminist, position.
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